I Want to be at My Place
by Lizzy Turner
Summary: After watching the promo for this week's episode, 5.09, where Deeks says. "I want to be at my place, right now, with you." I thought that this was one way the scene could play out.


What a lovely restaurant. Low lighting, quiet music in the background, tablecloth, lit candle on the table. Wonderful company. . . They are just finishing up their meal. When out of no where . . .

Deeks seriously and slowly says to Kensi, "I want to be at my place, right now, with you."

Kensi, surprised, looks over at Deeks, "What?"

Immediately an uncomfortable silence envelops the space around them. Deeks waits patiently through the long silence saying nothing and looking at Kensi.

Kensi, finally realizing what Deeks has said exhales slowly and says barely above a whisper, "Deeks."

"Kensi."

Another long pause, "Deeks, there is nothing more I want to do than to be with you at your place . . ."

"But?"

"But is it a good idea?"

"Probably not."

"So why are we talking about it?"

"Because maybe it is a good idea."

Kensi reaches for her glass of wine with a shaky hand. She quickly brings her hand back and places it on her lap. She looks up at Deeks.

"Kensi, stop thinking."

"I have to."

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I do."

"Why?"

"Because I'm wondering what this will all look like in the morning,"

"It will look incredibly wonderful," Deeks says with a smile.

"You sure?"

"Yes, what, you don't?

She smiles, "Deeks," she reaches for his hand across the table and holds it. "I think . . . . It's just . . . ."

"Don't stop now," he says anxiously, "it's just what?"

"I'm afraid. I don't want to lose what we have. Things will never be how they are now. We'll never be able to go back to the way we are right now."

"Is that so terrible, Kens?" She begins to question him, but he cuts her off. "The question is do we want to continue the way we are now? What we have now, Kens, is great, but I want more."

"More?"

"Yes, more."

"More like what?"

"More, like a relationship."

"Relationship?"

"Yeah . .. . an emotional and sexual relationship."

"How do I know you don't just want to get me into bed and once you've done that you're done with me."

"Kens, don't cheapen what we have. I would never do that, not to you. I respect you."

"Yeah, right. I've heard that one before." Kensi says with a snort.

"Seriously, Kensi, it's true. You're the first woman that I've actually been friends with before any. . ." he raises and lowers his eyebrows, "well, you know. And, we are friends. We're great friends."

Kensi smiles at his last remark. "What if it doesn't work out?"

"Then it doesn't work out. At least we gave it a shot."

"Can we really shut down the relationship just like that," she snaps her fingers, "and continue to work together? I don't think so and then we'd split up not only as a couple but as a partnership and that would be terrible."

It's Deeks turn to smile at her comment. "You're getting a head of yourself, Kens. We haven't even left the restaurant."

"I can't help it. I don't want to break up with you."

"We're not even together, yet."

"I know, but the thought of that is what's stopping me." she waves her free hand between the two of them, "Us from happening. Plus, I've never been good at relationships, you know that."

"There's always a first time."

"I'm still scared."

"So am I, but I'm willing to take a chance. I think we have something really special and I'd hate to miss out on true love, if that's what this is, just because I'm scared. I don't want any regrets."

Kensi almost jumps out of her skin at the mention of the word love from Deeks, and he notices.

Kensi? What's the matter?"

"N- nothing."

Silence comes over them again creating an uncomfortable tension. Kensi pulls her hand away from Deeks, but continues looking at him.

Hesitantly Kensi says,"You said, love."

Deeks looks at her quizzically reflecting back over what he had said. "You're right, I did." He pauses long enough to gage her reaction to his acknowledgement. "I don't know if this," reaching for her hand over the table and her giving it to him, "is love. All I know is that I've never felt this way about any other woman and I'm willing to give it a try."

"But if it doesn't work out we can't go back to the way it was."

"Kens, we already can't go back to the way it was, not after this conversation."

Realization hits her. She sits there looking into Deeks' eyes . . . thinking, contemplating. Minutes pass. "What about work?"

"What about it?" he says with a shrug.

"They might not like it."

Deeks frowns, "They don't matter."

Kensi looking worried, "Of course they matter. They're like an extended family and just about the only friends we have."

"I'm not going to make life decisions based on what they may or may not approve of, Kensi. Besides I'm pretty sure Hetty knows."

"How?"

"She heard me shout out to you that you smelled like gunpowder and sunshine that night in the boat shed." Deeks says with a chuckle.

"I remember." Kensi says with another smile.

"If the team knows that Hetty approves they'll follow along."

"Just because Hetty knows doesn't mean she approves."

"True, but I'm sure if she didn't approve we would have heard about it already."

"You think so?"

Deeks nods, "Oh yeah. She wouldn't hold back."

"I suppose you're right."

"What a minute . . . . . why wouldn't they approve?" Deeks questions.

"They might think that our relationship will get in the way of our work."

"I don't believe that for a second. In fact, it will only make us stronger."

"I agree, we'll be even more careful than we already are. Also, we won't take unnecessary risks."

"Well, I don't know about the risks part." Deeks says with a smirk.

Kensi smiles back.

"We'll figure it out as we go along, we always do? Right?"

Kensi squeezes his hand, "Right."


End file.
